I am a doorman for the kitty
I open doors and close them down
She shows me that her dish is empty

And scolds me with her kitty frown

I hear her mewling thru the screendoor
She won’t just nose her fat butt thru
I have to be there to escort her
Like i’m her maid and butler too

Her muddy paws mark all my papers
Her wicked claws shred the divan
She piddly pees outside the catbox
World domination is her plan

sung to the tune of Witchata Lineman